Ask Team Possible
by Galaxy1001D
Summary: Team Possible answers questions from viewers like you, well sort of.
1. Chapter 1

**Ask Team Possible**

_By Galaxy1001D_

_Kim Possible and other Disney characters  
are © Disney Co._

In a cheerfully lit Disney studio, Kim and Ron sat in directors chairs with Rufus in a tiny director's chair placed on a little table in between them. A large screen displaying Wade slurping soda in his room was on the wall behind them.

"Hi, gang," greeted Kim. "Welcome to the first installment of 'Ask Team Possible.' Here in Middleton we are very excited about the 4th season of _Disney's Kim Possible_ and to celebrate we are going to answer some of the most frequently asked questions by viewers like you." She nodded to Ron, who stared at the teleprompter and took up the narrative.

"While we were filming the 4th season we asked for e-mails from our viewers who may have questions about the show…" Ron squinted at the teleprompter, and then gave up. "Well, it's the end of the year, and lets see what you came up with. Wade, the first question, please."

The image of Wade behind them spoke. "Okay, here is a question from Bartholomew Simpson of Springfield. It reads 'Dear Kim, on the show you are depicted as the smallest and slimmest cheerleader on the squad. No offense, but you don't appear to be very muscular. How do you throw grown men around like rag dolls while fighting crime?'"

"Ah," said Kim. "An excellent question. The answer's quite simple, really. I'm a Slayer."

"As in _Buffy the Vampire Slayer,_" added Ron.

"If you want to know what a Slayer is you can check out the Wilkopedia site or watch seven seasons of Buffy's show, whichever is easier," said Kim.

"You never saw us fight any vampires on our show," said Ron, "because we wiped out all the bloodsuckers in Upperton, Middleton, and Lowerton before our first episode."

"It was no big," said Kim with false modesty. "We just fought them during the daytime. Sunlight kills them." She snapped her fingers in dismissal.

"For seven years Buffy has been doin' it the hard way," winked Ron.

"Okay guys," announced the image of Wade. "Here is a question from Richard Grayson of Gotham City. It's for Ron. The question is 'Ron, what does your Mystical Monkey Power actually do?'"

"Hmm, good question," mused Ron.

"Hmm," Rufus put his paw on his chin in thought.

"I've seen you survive a five-story fall onto solid concrete without getting hurt," offered Kim. "That sounds like magic to me."

"Oh, yeah," agreed Ron, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Oh! I can eat an entire naco in one gulp without choking on it!" He gestured with his hands for emphasis. "That's gotta be pretty special!"

"It's hard to say," shrugged Kim, somewhat embarrassed. "So far this Mystical Monkey Power just seems to augment and amplify his natural Ron-ness."

"Just makes a good thing better," agreed Ron, leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head.

"All right guys," said the huge image of Wade on the back wall. "This next question may be a little personal. It's from Mary Jane Parker of New York City. It reads 'What happened to Zita Flores? She was Ron's girlfriend, but she was only in two episodes. Where did she go?'"

"That's a good question," said Ron, eyeing Kim suspiciously. "Where _did_ she go?"

"Hey, don't look at me!" Kim held up her hands in denial.

"Umm, guys?" Kim, Ron, and Rufus turned to look at the image of Wade behind them. "I think I can shed some light on things. Let's look at some clips."

Wade pushed a button and his image disappeared to be replaced by a view of Ron and Zita in a movie theater, kissing. The romantic movie they are watching is replaced by the visage of Wade in his room.

Wade: Ron! Kim needs you, she's waiting outside!

Ron: Gotta go, Zita, duty calls!

Zita: Grrrr!

A second scene was displayed of Ron and Zita in Club Banana. Ron was holding up a jacket.

Ron: I don't know, do you think Kim would like this for her birthday?

Zita: That jacket is more expensive than what you bought me for _my_ birthday.

Ron: Hey, I know it's expensive, but Kim's worth it.

Zita: Grrrr!

A third scene was displayed, this time, showing Ron and Zita walking in a residential neighborhood carrying schoolbooks.

Zita: So, Ron, do you want to come over to my house and _study?_ (wink, wink)

Ron: Nah, I'm heading to KP's place. She promised to help me with my homework.

Zita: _I_ could help you with your homework…(wink, wink)

Ron: Thanks Zita, but this is math, and I really need an "A".

Zita: Grrrr!

The screen once again displayed Wade, who covered his face with one hand and shook his head. Kim looked away and blushed guiltily. Rufus stared at Ron with a pained expression on his tiny bucktoothed face. Ron scratched his head and appeared lost in thought.

"So what _did_ happen to Zita?" asked Ron. "Things seemed to be goin' good and she just flaked on me." Rufus smacked his little forehead with his paw in frustration.

"Umm, yeah…" gulped Wade, clearing his throat. "This next question is from Jimmy Kirk of Riverside, Iowa. He writes 'Dear Kim and Ron, you are two healthy teenagers of opposite genders who can leave the country without a chaperone at a moment's notice. Have you ever used those opportunities for romantic liaisons?'"

"'Romantic liaisons'?" Ron scratched his head in befuddlement. "'Opportunities'? What is he talking about?"

"I think that he's trying to find a rated 'G' way to ask if we ever 'do it' on missions," offered Kim.

"Do what?" asked Ron. "Save the world? We do that all the time, and we're proud of it."

"No, '_do it_'," Kim made air quotes for emphasis. "As in, make the beast with two backs…" She blushed and made vague gestures in the air.

"Wha? We've never fought a beast with two backs…" protested Ron.

Rufus made a high-pitched noise that sounded like, "oh brother…"

"No," Kim shook her head patiently. "You, know, 'do the nasty'?"

Ron gave her a blank look of innocent ignorance.

Kim leaned over and whispered in Ron's ear.

"Oh," he said, listening intently. "OH!" His eyes became as wide as saucers. His face became pale, then beet red, and then sly.

"Yeah," nodded Kim, leaning back in her chair in concern.

"Well," announced Ron, "to answer this question, we are going to turn it over to our pocket chaperone, Rufus. Take it away buddy!"

The camera closed up on the naked mole rat chattering away unintelligibly. When he was done, the camera exposed Kim, Ron, and Wade smiling at each other mischievously while Rufus grinned proudly.

"Well Jimmy," said Kim. "I hope that answers your question."

Wade's image on the monitor spoke up. "Well, that's all the time we have, join us again on our next installment of 'Ask Team Possible'."

Ron leaned over and whispered to Kim. "Seriously though, what _did_ happen to Zita Flores?"

END


	2. Chapter 2

Ask Team Possible 

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters  
are © Disney Co.

In a cheerfully lit Disney studio, Kim and Ron sat in director's chairs while Rufus was perched in a tiny chair placed on a little table in between them. A large screen displaying Wade in his room was on the wall behind them.

"Hey, gang," greeted Kim. "Welcome back to 'Ask Team Possible.' There's only a few more days until brand new episodes of _Disney's Kim Possible_ are on the air and to celebrate we are going to answer some of the most frequently asked questions by viewers like you." She nodded to Ron.

"Last year we asked for e-mails from our viewers who may have questions about the show," Ron smiled as he took up the narrative. "We were amazed at all of the questions we received. Are you ready to start answering them, Kim?"

"You bet," replied the crusading cheerleader. "Wade, the first question, please."

"Okay guys," said the image of Wade behind them. "Acosta Perez Jose Romiro of Cancun, Mexico wants to know if Ron is still receiving his Naco royalties."

"Well are you, Mister Moneybags?" teased Kim.

"Well," said Ron, rolling his eyes. "Since Drakken took over Bueno Nacho, what do you think, Acosta?"

"We're broke," chirped the naked mole rat seated on the table between them.

"Too bad, Ron," teased Kim. "You could have bought a giant naco in the shape of a naco with it."

"C'mon Kim," protested Ron. "I may have been loose with my money but I've learned my lesson. There's no need to rub it in."

"Oh yeah," Kim smiled skeptically. "Sure you have. Ah-huh. We'll see. Next question Wade, please and thank you."

"Okay," said Wade. "CSI Go of Germany asks 'Why is Senor Senior Junior nearly as good as Shego in _Two to Tutor_? Some things I eat in the morning are smarter than that guy for cryin' out loud!'" At this, all the members of Team Possible shared a laugh.

"That's a good question," said Kim. "I had no idea that Shego was such a good teacher."

"Maybe Junior just needed motivation," smirked Ron. "I'd elaborate, but we might lose our G rating."

"Ron!" Kim put her hands on her hips. "Grow up, will you?"

"Maybe I will if you _motivate_ me," smirked Ron.

"Ron, we are supposed to be dating in season four," said Kim. "You wouldn't want that to change, would you?"

Ron's eyes bulged out as he sat up in his chair. "I'm growing up now, Kay-pee!" His arm raised in an involuntary salute.

Even Rufus sat up erect in his little chair and saluted. "Yup, yup, growing up," he squeaked.

Kim leaned back smugly in her chair. "Okay, Wade, what's the next question?"

"You aren't gonna like it," snickered the young super-genius. "This question is for Ron. Jim Qwilleran of Mooseville who asks: 'What is the deal with Ron's pants? After all this time, hasn't he bought a belt that works? Why do is trousers keep falling down?'"

Kim put her hand over her mouth and smiled. Rufus let out an inquisitive squeak and peered up at Ron. The blonde boy squirmed in his chair as if his pants were trying to escape from his legs at that very moment.

"I don't know!" Ron cried. "I've tried belts and suspenders, and they _still_ fall off! If they don't fall down they get ripped! Sometimes I lose everything but my boxers! I don't understand it!"

"Maybe I can help," said the huge image of Wade. The two teens and the mole rat turned to look at him. "Now this is just a theory, but I think that it's tied to your Mystical Monkey Power."

"What do you mean?" protested Ron. "My MMP is making my pants fall down? I just _knew_ that Mystical Monkey Power was sick and wrong!"

"No, no," Wade assured him. "It has to do with chaos theory and karma."

"What-what and what-what?" sputtered the confused boy.

"I think he means luck, Ron," said Kim.

"Oh, right, luck," said Ron. "I've always been lucky."

"That's right," said Wade, "but your Mystical Monkey Power has been prioritizing your luck." When he saw the blank looks of the others he attempted to clarify. "Ron, you've been able to dodge attacks that would kill combat veterans. You manage to find clues by accident and you can foil a villain's plot just by tripping over your own feet."

"You're like Inspector Clouseau without the accent," giggled Kim.

"What does this have to do with my pants falling down?" Ron crossed his arms over his chest in irritation.

"Well, I think that your luck has to even out," replied Wade. "When you go on missions, your good luck manifests in situations that really matter. Life or death situations. To make up for it, you experience bad luck that is harmless, but makes you look foolish. Hence, your pants problem."

"Is there any way to stop this, Wade?" asked Ron.

Wade rubbed the back of his neck in thought. "Well, if you quit risking your neck on a regualr basis, your good luck would manifest in your everyday life. Maybe your pants would stay up, but maybe you would win the lottery and your pants would still fall down on national televison."

"Quit risking my life on a regular basis? But that would mean giving up the missions!" Ron protested. "No thanks! That would leave Kim all alone with no backup! I'll settle for the embarassment so Kim won't be caught with her pants down!" Kim gave him a strange look. "Er, heh-heh, so to speak." He chuckled sheepishly.

"On the plus side, offered Wade. "Your Mystical Monkey Power seems to allow you to fight like Jackie Chan."

"Really?" Kim was dubious. "Like Jackie Chan?"

"Yeah." Wade took a sip of his soda. "When he gets in a fight, he looks so comical that nobody notices that he's winning."

"Oh," said Kim. "That makes sense, I guess…"

"Oh yeah!" Ron raised his fist in triumph. "I fight like Jackie Chan!" His arms made kung-fu and karate motions as he emitted strange martial arts cries. "Whaaaa…Yi-yi-yi!"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Uh, Wade? Next question?"

"Coming right up, Kim," smiled Wade. "Frank Castle of New York has a good one. 'Dear Kim and Ron, in the episode where you switched brains, was it awkward when you had to get dressed or go to the bathroom? The episode didn't address those issues.' Guys?"

"Nah, it wasn't that bad," Ron waved his arm in dismissal.

"So not the drama," agreed Kim. "It was no big. We just got dressed and went to the restroom like everyone else."

"Yeah," Ron shrugged. "Having to do Kim's cheerleading technique was a lot harder than simply changing clothes."

"The biggest challenge of going to the bathroom in Ron's body was trying not to enter the girl's room by mistake," blushed Kim. "Old habits die hard."

On the monitor behind them Wade showed concern as he gazed at his computer screen. "Uh-oh, guys. I just got a hit from a J.T. Possible of Middleton."

"Jay-Tee Possible?" Ron's brow wrinkled in thought. "Is that a relative of yours, Kim?"

"Ya think?" said Kim sarcastically.

"Oh, I forgot your dad's middle initial is 'tee'," smiled Ron. "So what's his question?"

Wade's face grew pale. "Uhh, brace yourself guys. Its kind of related to the last question."

"Just spit it out, Wade," snapped Kim.

"Okay," gulped the juvenile genius. "He writes: 'Dear Ronald and Kimmie-cub, in the question about the time that you switched brains you indicated that you were quite comfortable with intimate duties such as dressing or using the restroom. Does that mean that you two were already familiar with each other's bodies before getting your brains switched?'" Wade looked at the rest of the team in concern.

Kim's eyes were as wide as saucers when she realized the implications of the question. "Oh! Um, uh, yeah, it was awkward!"

"I-I had to change clothes with my eyes closed!" Ron stammered nervously. "And when I went to the can I sat down and didn't see a thing!"

"Oh yeah," stuttered Kim, obviously flustered. "Going to the bathroom was a nightmare all right! And _boy_ was it embarrassing to change clothes! Oh yeah, it was weird all right!" She laughed weakly.

Ron picked up Rufus, curled up into a fetal position and stroked his pet nervously.

"Oh boy are we in trouble…" he muttered.

"Oh uh, tune in to the Disney Channel next Saturday to see four new episodes of _Disney's Kim Possible_!" said Kim with exaggerated cheerfulness. "That's all the time we have now! Join us again for the next installment of _Ask Team Possible_!"

"We're dead," moaned Ron.

END


	3. Chapter 3

Ask Team Possible 

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

In a cheerfully lit Disney studio, Kim and Ron sat in director's chairs while Rufus was perched in a tiny chair placed on a little table in between them. A large screen displaying Wade in his room was on the wall behind them.

"Hi there, gang!" Kim waved cheerfully. "It's time once again for another installment of 'Ask Team Possible', and the answers for the questions that _you_ sent in last year! Are you ready to go, guys?"

"We're with ya, KP!" Ron gestured with his fist.

"Okay, Wade, what's the first question?" asked the teen hero.

"Here's a politically incorrect question that I've got to get off my chest," said Wade wryly. "Little Riley Freeman asks 'Is Monique the token black on _Kim Possible_?'"

"Whoa!" Ron exclaimed.

"Wade, do you want to take this question or shall I?" Kim crossed her arms and her legs and gave the camera an expression of disapproval.

"I'll give it a shot," smirked Wade, who then gave the camera a disappointed look and then gestured to himself.

"What?" asked Ron scratching his head.

"Ron, I'm black," said Wade. "I'm Afro-American."

"Dude! Get out!" gasped the tow-headed teen. "I thought you were Polynesian!"

Wade's huge image crossed his arms and gave Ron a withering look. "Ron, what makes you think that I'm Polynesian?"

"Oh, uh, no reason," Ron's curled up in his chair and hugged his legs protectively.

"No reason," mimicked Rufus on his little chair.

"I'll let that one go 'cause its you, Ron," said Wade, "but I thought our viewers were smarter than that. I'm a super genius who spends all of his time in his room, people. Not all of us talk 'street'."

"Sorry Wade," Ron blushed.

"Sorry," croaked the naked mole rat.

"This is why I love the Internet," said Wade as he leaned back in his chair resignedly. "People judge you for who you are, not what you look like. It doesn't matter what your race, sex, or hairstyle is like."

"Hey, don't get tied in a knot," apologized Ron. "Lot's of folks don't know that I'm Jewish."

"Omigosh!" Kim exclaimed. "You're Jewish?"

"Kim, you've known me for over a decade," the blonde boy scolded. "You already know I'm Jewish."

Kim laughed. "Gotcha," she teased.

Ron and Rufus folded their arms and gave her a withering look.

"Hey," Kim protested. "I'm a member of the most discriminated group of them all. I'm a girl, and even though over fifty percent of America are female we're still treated as victims, sex objects, or pains in the rear."

"Over fifty percent of Americans are girls?" Ron asked blankly.

"Ahem," Kim cleared her throat. "Going back to your question, Riley. Monique is so not the token black, she's the token teenage girl." The camera did a close up on Kim. "Bonnie and the rest of the squad represent peer pressure. Monique is a friend on my level, one who can coach me and set me straight on the difficult path of being a girl."

"Isn't that your mom's job?" asked Ron.

"Mom is an authority figure," Kim clarified. "Monique is a friend. So not the same."

"Okay Wade," Ron glanced back at the huge screen, "next question!"

"Okay guys, " said the image of Wade. "Jacob Long of New York City wants to know why Bonnie is such a witch. Specifically, he wants to know why she is so mean to you two in particular."

Kim answered first. "Well, thanks to her rivalry with her sisters, Bonnie can't stand being second best."

Ron crossed his arms, closed his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. "I think its because she knows she can't have the Ron-man," he said pompously.

"Puh-leez!" Kim scoffed. "Get over yourself."

"No really," Ron insisted coolly. "She knows that try as she might, she'll never get between us, so she takes it out on _you_."

"So," said Kim skeptically, "she calls you a loser out of _affection_?"

"She has to make me seem worthless to explain why she can't have me," Ron smirked as Rufus vigorously nodded his agreement. "The only way she can save face is to put me so far down on the food chain that no one will make a connection."

Kim was undeterred. "And the fact that you couldn't get a date during the episode _Crush_ is _why_?"

"I figure that a certain cheerleader who knows sixteen kinds of kung fu made death threats," Ron retorted complacently. "No one wanted to risk it."

"I see…" said Kim coldly. "While I was working up the courage to ask Josh Mankey to the dance, I was also threatening all the girls in Middleton High with bodily harm if they went out with _you_…" The cheerleader shook her head in disbelief. "You are so flawed."

"All right, guys, this next question should give you something to think about," grinned Wade. "Shirley Schmidt of Boston writes, 'What happened? In season four, Ron is dumber than he was in the previous three seasons put together.'"

"Hey!" Ron shouted indignantly. "That's not even a question!"

"Yeah!" Rufus clenched his forepaw and shook it like a little fist.

Kim had to suppress a giggle. "Sorry, Shirley, but now that Ron and I are officially a couple we can't make Ron _too_ sexy," she grinned. "Ron's devotion to me gained him such a following among our female fans that even Shego had to step down from the 'most sexiest cast member' spot."

"I am what I is!" Ron announced proudly.

"A lot of fans have written us and told us that in the first three seasons our body language made it seem like Ron and I were a couple," said the redhead.

"A couple?" sneered the blonde boy. "It looked like we were getting' in _on_!"

"Ron, shu-uh," she warned him. "Especially in the early episodes. Now that we actually _are_, the Disney Channel can't take any chances. Sorry Shirley!"

"Sorry," said Ron misunderstanding Kim's remark. "The _Ron_ has been spoken for."

"Besides," Kim giggled. "Now that you've seen this side of him, you now know why Ron wasn't as popular at school as he could have been."

"Was that a shot?" Ron snapped.

Wade's image smiled devilishly on the screen behind the teen heroes. "As long as we're tackling controversial questions, here's one from Acosta Perez Jose Ramiro of Cancun. Acosta asks 'Besides Kim, which girl from the show is Ron's favorite?' Answer this if you dare, Ron!"

Kim and Rufus both looked at Ron expectantly. Kim crossed her arms and put one leg over the other while giving the plucky sidekick a warning look. Ron squirmed in his seat uncomfortably and tugged on his shirt collar.

"Besides Kim which girl is my favorite?" he asked himself while rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh, uh," he stammered. Suddenly the boy pointed into the air and nearly jumped out of his seat. "Oh! That's easy! Kim's mom, Mrs. Doctor Possible!"

"Really," said Kim skeptically.

"Really," Rufus repeated, crossing his forelimbs in imitation of Kim.

"Yes," grinned Ron as he touched his face in and attempted to appear calm. "Your mom, Kim. She was always in my camp during the whole 'Eric fiasco,'"

"True," Kim still didn't seem convinced.

"She takes care of me as if I was her own son and besides," he shrugged over-dramatically, and then nearly leaped out of his chair as he shouted, "She's a babe! She's a mondo-mega babe! That means that in twenty years you'll still be as sexy as ever, KP! How cool is that?"

"Sweet, but…creepy," Kim hugged herself and glanced away.

"Yori," Ron made a strange choking noise.

Rufus also made a coughing sound that sounded like "Yori".

"What was that, Ron?" Kim asked him.

"Oh, I guess I got something in my throat, KP," he wheezed as he looked away and touched his face. "Yori," he coughed. "Yori, Yori."

"Hm," Kim sniffed. "Well I guess that answers that." The girl then assumed a cheerful demeanor and waved at the camera. "Well, gang, thanks for tuning in! Be on the lookout for new episodes of _Disney's Kim Possible_ right here on the Disney Channel!"

"Yori," squeaked Rufus.

"Shut _up_!" hissed Ron to his little pet.

"Sorry," croaked the naked mole rat.

END


	4. Chapter 4

**Ask Team Possible **

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

In a cheerfully lit Disney studio, Kim and Ron sat in director's chairs while Rufus sat in a tiny chair placed on a little table in between them. A large screen displaying Wade in his room was on the wall behind them.

"Hi there, gang!" Kim waved cheerfully. "It's time once again for another installment of 'Ask Team Possible', and the answers for the questions that _you_ sent in last year! Are you ready to go, guys?"

"We're with ya, KP!" Ron gave the 'thumbs up' gesture.

"This time we are focusing on the 4th season," Kim addressed the camera. "We experienced a lot of changes and lots of character development, more than in the first three seasons combined."

"We'd like to thank all of our fans at this website for writing such great fan fiction," Ron pointed his finger at the camera. "It wouldn't have happened if not for fans like you! You can tell that the writers read your stuff from the strange directions that our episodes took. It was like being in fan fiction, only being paid a whole lot more!"

"Ron, shu-uh!" Kim warned.

"Sorry KP!" Ron blushed and leaned back in his chair.

Wade's image on the huge screen behind them spoke up. "Okay, this question is from Tenchi Masaki of Okayama, Japan. He wants to know about baby Hana. He writes, "How did Ron's stepsister Hana get mystical monkey power? The only ones with mystical monkey power are Monkey Fist, Ron, and Rufus."

Rufus made a high pitched noise that sounded vaguely like "sure 'nuff!"

"Wow, Tenchi, that's a good question," Kim's eyes widened as her mind raced for an answer.

"That's a good one," Ron agreed as his brow furrowed in concentration. "Got it! We need an outside expert to answer this question!"

Kim gestured to the large screen in back of them and spread her arms out wide. "And to answer your query, we present the world's foremost authority on mystical monkey power, Lord Montgomery Fiske, better known to our fans as Monkeyfist!"

"Take it away, MF!" Ron gestured to the screen behind him. Wade's image disappeared behind him to be replaced by the disturbing visage of the stone image of a bestial man contorted in agony.

"Oh, yeah," Kim's enthusiasm disappeared and she squirmed in her seat uncomfortably. "That's right. Monkeyfist was turned into a statue by the Yono, wasn't he?"

"He's still a statue?" Ron asked incredulously. "I thought he would have been changed back by now!"

"I guess he's um, dead for a while until something changes him back," Kim bit her lip and looked away.

Ron scratched the back of his neck and drew his eyes away from the screen in back of them.

Rufus twitched his whiskers and looked at the camera.

The horrifying image of Monkeyfist vanished to be replaced by Wade. "Sorry about that guys," said the twelve-year-old super genius, "I found another expert to handle the question, okay?"

"Bring him on, Wade," said Kim, attempting to recover her Disney Channel cheerfulness.

"Okay," Wade nodded, "without further ado, I bring you Master Sensei of Japan's secret Yamanuchi Ninja Academy. Take it away, Sensei!"

Wade's image vanished from the screen to be replaced by an elderly Japanese man who wore red robes. His snow with hair was in a topknot and his full beard and mustache gave him the appearance of an Asian Santa Clause.

"Thank, Master Wade-san," Sensei nodded formally. "It is indeed an honor to answer the question that has been set before me. Now that the threat of Monkeyfist and the Yono has been overcome, the mystery of Hana Stoppable can be revealed."

"Great to see you again, sir!" Ron greeted.

"Hi," Rufus squeaked.

"Master Sensei," Kim's voice became all business. "Tenchi Masaki asked a question that lots of us want to know. Where did Hana get mystical monkey power?"

"Yeah, I thought you could only get it from magic idols," Ron nodded. "Was she left in a mystic maternity ward or what?"

"Hana Stoppable received the mystical monkey power from her father," Sensei answered before lapsing into his inscrutable façade. "As the tiger has power and agility, so they are passed onto the humble kitten."

"Wow!" Ron exclaimed. "Just who was her father, Darth Vader?"

"Ron!" Kim scolded. "Show some concern for Hana, will you?"

"Everybody knows that mystical monkey power is sick and wrong Kim," Ron insisted.

Sensei ended the argument simply be speaking calmly. "Mystical monkey power, like so many things in life, is misunderstood. Mankind is but a clumsy ape, a foolish monkey. Only by discovering our true selves can we cast off our primitive impulses and call ourselves humans."

"I thought that monkey power was all about being a monkey," Ron blinked.

"No, Stoppable-san," Sensei shook his head. "It is about being a man. As one must walk before one can run, so must one crawl before one can walk. Only by mastering yourself can you master life. To master yourself you must start at the beginning. First you are as a lowly insect. A foolish 'grasshopper.'"

"So that's we that guy on _Kung Fu_, was called 'grasshopper'!" Kim exclaimed. "It's just like being called 'kid' or 'probey'!"

"Then you are as a frog or a mouse," Sensei continued. "Finally you become as an ape or a monkey. The final challenge between you and enlightenment. The final obstacle before you can call yourself human. Monkeyfist was blindsided by the cleverness of the monkey. He came so far, only to stumble at the end. He failed to learn the lessons the monkey could teach him, and focused on the brute power of the primate. He is not the first to fall just before reaching the peak of the mountain of fulfillment, and sadly, will not be the last."

"But I hate monkeys," Ron insisted. "How did I learn the lessons that monkeys could teach me if I can't stand them?"

Although Sensei barely moved in his chair, it was as if he had turned to speak to Ron alone. "You fear the monkey for it represents the animal within you, the savage impulse that all men must master and overcome. As with any weapon your inner monkey is a useful tool, but incredibly dangerous if misused. Monkeyfist allowed the monkey to overcome him, whereas you overcame the monkey. Your experience as a child started the conflict between you and the monkey at an early age. You mastered your fear and mastered yourself, and thus mastered the mystical monkey power. You could turn the mischievous monkey into your ally, when it was first an enemy."

"That's right," Kim nodded as she pointed a Ron. "Remember Chippy?"

"That's right," Ron held up a forefinger. "He was one of Monkeyfist's monkey ninjas before I thought he was you and made friends with him!"

"Just as you redeemed the monkey, so you redeemed yourself," Sensei nodded. "By conquering your demons, you have conquered yourself and have access to a power that Monkeyfist could never possess."

"Ah come on!" Ron's face turned red. "You're making me blush!"

"A lifetime of humility and courage could take you to the truth more effectively than I and my humble school ever could." Sensei continued despite Ron's protest. "Truly, you have stumbled upon the enlightenment that has evaded scholars and mystics for generations…"

"That's all well and good," said Kim getting back to business, "but who are Hana's biological parents? If she inherited mystical monkey power from them who are they? They must have been exposed to power the same as Ron and Monkeyfist."

Sensei's face remained an unpenetratable mask. "As I said earlier, Hana inherited the power from her father. Her innocence as a toddler left her mind clear of the distractions of the world and allowed her to focus her mystical monkey power without fear or disbelief. As she grows older and learns the lies of the world, she will have master herself all over again. And so the voyage of life goes on…"

"But who is this guy?" Ron interrupted. "Who else has the MMP? Is he a good guy or a bad guy? Where was he when Monkeyfist attacked the school or when the Lowardians invaded Earth? Is he dead or what? And what about Hana's mom?"

"Hana's mother gave up her daughter willingly so Hana could learn the lessons that you had to teach," Sensei answered serenely. "Although she knew that Hana and her father are destined to walk a different path than she is, it was still her honor to conceive the child that would save Yamanuchi and the world from the Yono."

"Wow," Kim blinked. "I don't think that I could ever do that. She must be an amazing woman."

"Yes," Sensei nodded. "I'm quite proud of her. Her sacrifice saved all our lives and was not in vain. And she knows that Hana is with Stoppable-san, where she belongs, for only with compassion and discipline will the child…"

"That's all well and good," Ron interrupted, "but who else is going to go mystical monkey power on us? Is Hana's father the next Monkeyfist or the next Luke Skywalker?"

"How could Hana's mother trust her baby to a stranger?" Kim asked. "If she was my baby, I could only give her up to someone that I trusted implicitly!"

"Stoppable-san's compassion and courage are well known to Hana's mother," Sensei assured the redhead, "for she had the honor of experiencing both first hand while we had the privilege of having him as our exchange student."

"Wow Ron," Kim elbowed the boy affectionately. "You must have made quite an impression."

"I am what I is!" Ron pointed to himself with both of his thumbs.

"But who is she?" Kim asked Sensei. "Can she at least visit Hana?"

"And what about Hana's father?" Ron asked. "Is he going to come looking for my little sister? Are we going to have to protect her from him?"

"No need to fear Hana's father," the old man assured them. "Hana's father desires only the best for her daughter, though he knows her not. And Hana's mother got to see her daughter blossom under Stoppable-san's care."

"Wait a minute," Kim furrowed her brow suspiciously. "When we took Hana to Japan the only girl at the Yamanuchi School was Yori. And you said that Hana's father knows her not." Kim's eyes became cold and her voice assumed a scolding tone. "Ron!"

"What?" the boy retorted somewhat defensibly. "What did I do?"

"What happened that week that you spent at the Yamanuchi School?" Kim crossed her arms. "Anything you want to tell me?"

"Well," Ron's eyes looked up at the ceiling as he leaned back in concentration. "I trained with the ninjas, rescued Yori and the lotus blade from Monkeyfist. We celebrated, and I went home. I had to walk all the way to the airport. It was my honor. You know, honor isn't all it's cracked up to be…"

"Exactly _how_ did you celebrate?" Kim's voice became deadly, and the look on her face reminded Ron of the Shego at her angriest.

"Um, er," Ron shifted uncomfortably in his seat as courage left him. "Uh, Yori introduced me to something called 'socky.' It's spelled like 'sake', but it's pronounced 'socky'. That's the first time I ever got drunk. I woke up totally naked and I had all these scratch marks on my back. Yori was next to me, wearing my shirt. It took us two hours to find her pants. We found Rufus on the roof and we still don't know how he got up there…"

"You woke up _naked_?" A vein on Kim's head began to twitch, "and Yori was dressed only in _your_ shirt? Did she have any underpants?"

"Sure, we found them in the hall," Ron shrugged. "Why are you looking at me that way? You act like Yori and I…uh oh!" The boy's eyes widened in recognition.

"Yow!" Rufus cried. The hairless rodent hopped out his little chair and ran across the floor towards the exit.

Before Ron knew it, Kim had pulled him out of his director's chair by his shirt and put her face only inches from his.

"Exactly who is Hana anyway, huh?" Kim shouted. "Huh? Is she your daughter or your sister?" She backhanded him across the face.

"She's my sister!" Ron cried.

Kim slapped him again.

"She's my daughter!" Ron protested.

Slap.

"She's my sister!"

Slap.

"She's my daughter!"

Slap.

"She's my sister and my daughter!" Ron howled. He staggered back when Kim finally released him.

"Ron!" Kim growled with tears in her eyes. "I am so going to kill you!"

"Ahh!" Ron screamed as he dashed for the door. "Spare me Kim! I was drunk! I didn't know! I was drunk! Ahh!"

"Alas," Sensei's image remained as placid as a still photo. "Such is often the price in the quest for truth." Just as the mountain seeks the rain, so does the…"

The old man vanished from the screen to be replaced by Wade's worried face. "Um, that's all the time we have for now," stammered the juvenile genius. "See you next time on 'Ask Team Possible'."

Crashes could be heard in the background as well as Ron's cries: "Ow! Quit kicking me! High heels? Since when do you wear high heels? Ow! OW!"

END


End file.
